Mental Toughness Tips When Girls Win with Coach MJ
Mary Jo McCloskey, or "Coach MJ" as she's affectionately known, joins Tori on the T-Time with Tori podcast. As the head coach who led the George Fox University women's golf team to their first-ever NCAA Division III national championship in 2022, Mary Jo has plenty of insights to share from her coaching journey. In particular, they dive into themes around mental toughness, embracing pressure, and maintaining composure through the inevitable surprises golf throws our way. Mary Jo draws on anecdotes from building the George Fox golf program from scratch as well as working with her championship-winning players.
The Making of a Champion Mindset
Mary Jo traces the genesis of her new book When Girls Win: Mental Toughness Tips to Elevate Your Performance back to the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic. While stuck at home and searching for purpose, she found inspiration from a Matthew McConaughey podcast appearance:
"I started thinking, oh my gosh, what can I do? I'm stuck at home, but I shouldn't feel stuck because I'm able to be at home and I'm safe. And so what can I be doing? And I just am always about like, giving back and how can I serve others? And I just start thinking, I, I have this story."
Compelled to share her decades of coaching experience and help other girls and women maximize their potential faster, Mary Jo embarked on the journey of authorship.
An Emotional Journey: Maintaining Perspective on the Course
Golf takes players on an emotional rollercoaster, often within the span of just a few holes. So Mary Jo introduced her team to a concept called the emotional scale, which ranks different emotional states from highest to lowest vibration.
"At the top is joy, and then at the, you know, bottom is fear and grief."
Understanding their position on this scale helped her players manage difficult stretches:
"She said, all of a sudden she was like, I am, you know, low on the scale. And I was looking on the scale. So she was down at like 16 on the scale, which is discouragement. And she was really feeling discouraged."
Rather than dwell in negativity or give up, this player consciously worked her way back up the scale to more constructive emotions like optimism and hope. Amazingly, her outlook shift catalyzed an incredible comeback:
"And she had like three birdies in a row and she finishing, she ended up finishing the tournament in second one stroke out of first and all because she became aware and moved her vibration and started feeling better."
This example highlights the importance of self-awareness on the course. As Mary Jo notes:
"Your real superpower is being aware because some people are going down the scale and don't even realize, you know, like, you, you don't even realize that you're so stuck."
Cultivating this emotional awareness takes practice, but it can pay huge dividends in resilience and performance.
Pressure is a Privilege
Tori highlights an iconic Billie Jean King quote that competitive players would do well to internalize:
"Pressure is a privilege."
As Mary Jo explains, avoiding pressure prevents growth:
"If you run from it, it just gets worse. Or you, or you don't get to see how good you can become."
Instead, she advocates fully embracing pressure and interference:
"In order to get to the trophy presentation, you have to go through the heat to get to the pro to get to the trophy presentation. So in order to get to the trophy presentation, you have to face that interference that comes in."
Working through challenges builds the mental toughness required for sustainable success.
Transforming Self-Doubt into Unwavering Confidence
Even championship teams have players who struggle with self-belief. Mary Jo recounts the journey of a player who constantly dismissed her value because of putting woes:
"She would be so close and she would have these good rounds and then she would dismiss being in our lineup."
Through concerted work on mental techniques like affirmations, this player gradually transformed her mindset:
"She said, I worked on those affirmations and you can't write an affirmation card down and just say you're the best putter in the world and not believe it."
Amazingly, her breakthrough culminated in a pivotal performance on the biggest stage. Despite early difficulties in the national championship, she steadied herself to play a key role in the team's first title:
"She went four under par from the ninth hole on, and she really helped us win that championship."
Surprises Demand Flexibility
Golf's unpredictability means players must prepare for the unforeseen if they want to meet challenges with poise. As a prime example, Mary Jo looks back to her 2017 squad who entered nationals as the #1 seed but ultimately lost in heartbreaking fashion:
"We had the lead going into the back nine...We had this lead and the wind picked up and the wind picked up for everyone, right...But it really affected my team...We just really weren't quite ready for what to hit off the tee."
This shocking defeat taught the lesson that even championship teams need contingency plans for surprises like bad weather. By practicing specialty shots to handle unpredictability, players can adapt smoothly when circumstances change.
Harnessing the Subconscious Mind
Great performances flow instinctively from the subconscious without overthinking. Mary Jo finds inspiration in the iconic Top Gun: Maverick line:
"Don't think just do."
As soon as conscious thought overrides intrinsic ability, execution suffers:
"If you start thinking about, oh, I need to turn my hand this way to turn the wheel, like, you're going to go really slow. Like, you're going to, you're going to get in an accident."
Instead, effective practice ingrains the right motor patterns so athletes can slip into that effortless "zone" state. Letting go of ego allows innate skill to shine through. Rather than judging results, Mary Jo encourages an acceptance mindset focused on process over outcomes. This releases the tension around perceived mistakes, allowing more fluid performances.
Key Takeaways from Mary Jo McCloskey and Tori
- Cultivate emotional awareness: Monitoring your emotional state prevents negativity from spiraling out of control.
- Embrace pressure: Leaning into pressure accelerates growth; avoiding pressure causes more anxiety.
- Transform self-doubt through affirmations: Repeated positive self-talk instills confidence and belief.
- Prepare for surprises: Unpredictability is inevitable; having backup plans allows graceful adaptation.
- Trust your subconscious: Thinking less facilitates fluid, intuitive execution of learned skills.
The path to competitive greatness lies in mastering the mental game - while also maintaining perspective and not taking ourselves too seriously!
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